This is one of my favorite times of year, usually that is….Generally my hardest season is back to school time. I love every minute of my kiddos and Hubs underfoot, the slowed schedules, the time to beach it, boat it, and just be plain lazy. But this year, this year I am really struggling with my depression and anxiety in this season. This season of life is frankly scaring the pants off of me. ..My oldest is finishing middle school. My baby girl is now 13, a real teenager with all that comes. My baby, my baby baby is going to finish elementary. Don’t get me wrong, I am still counting the days- there are 8 more. Eight more school days where I have kids in middle and elementary school. I’m just counting them differently this year. They are growing up so fast. It’s all happening so quickly. I remember the days when they were all home as toddlers and babies. So many of those days, those phases, seemed never ending. The nights of no sleep. The constant cleaning of crumbs. The e

From LOW LOW LOW LOW to Highs Unimaginable… Time to get REAL- Lets stop, have a cuppa and be Real together . Friends, I have had some LOW LOW days..in different ways than some of ya’ll--- for me it looks like lots of STILLNESS, lots of alone time, lots of physical pain, lots of emotional pain, feelings of loosing footing… I have been feeling like a failure-trying to figure out how to grieve the loss of old me, accept the new me- the me with fibromyalgia- not being able to do my mom and wife duties (as I see them)...fight with a hubbie who I see feeling overwhelmed with responsibility..who isn’t feeling respected..who I take out my frustrations on so easily-who I boss so easily, nag… Yep, thats me, my messy bared. I'm struggling to feel like ME in this body-still! Then God sends me this reminder,

Enough, Part 2. ---- For the Mamas! This one is for the Mamas… --- and the babies Mama’s, and the Mama’s Mama’s, Mama’s, Mama’s Mama’s… - for those that get this, just couldn’t resist :) - For the Mama who is crying silently on the couch because she just yelled at her kids AGAIN for something stupid and now she’s feeling guilty. For the Mama who is struggling to get dinner on the table, ordering that take out one more time, feeling like she can never catch up, feeling like she isn’t meeting her own standard of who she should be. For the Mama who can’t remember the last time she showered, had on real clothes, let alone makeup, and is feeling less than. For the Mama who isn’t in the shape she wants, struggling to get those old jeans on, and just wanting to feel beautiful, but is feeling so far from it. For the Mama with little ones, desperate for a moment alone, a moment of peace, hiding out in the bathroom or kitchen pantry that one extra minute, that one minute t

I walk along in this life, the days tend to blend, things march on...We have soccer practices, boy scouts, tournaments and games, homework, Sunday Worship, bible studies, youth group, school, breakfast, lunch, dinner..Repeat....Life marches on...and I can be get so caught up in the schedule, the "getting it done". So wrapped up in never feeling ENOUGH, and thus stuck on the treadmill of striving on my own strength. I forget to SLOW, to BE STILL, to listen to my Lord. I forget to Pause. I forget to open my eyes and SEEK, to look- look for God in the midst, look for God everywhere and in everything. I see pain, suffering, crazy politics, wars, earthquakes that devastate. I feel my pain and personal suffering.I feel overwhelmed, and rather than turn to Him, I begin to run harder on that treadmill of my own Strength. As many know, over the last years I have struggled physically with illness after illness, back injuries and now Fibro- I so easily think- this is too much.

Today I may or may not have the flu. How would you not know, right? Well, if you have Fibromyalgia, every day feels like a variation of the Flu. So if I ever do get sick, like an acute Sickness, well I never know if it is yet another symptom, or a just a bad Fibro day. So it got me thinking...With the flu so rampantly going around, maybe now is a good time to try and explain my everyday, my Fibro. I know so many who love me, or who know me and have me on your prayer chain, well you aren’t really sure what exactly it is.